My Truest Friend

“Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead.
Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow.
Walk beside me; and be my friend.” -Albert Camus

We haven’t always been this way. We have seen both sides of the path we promised to walk together. Many times I’ve searched for your hand knowing you needed mine more. Struggling to understand how to be there for you when I barely managed to be there for myself.

I’ve realized that in this journey we have vowed to take together there are three parts. The us part, the me part, and the you part. We are not always on the us part. We have our own journeys to take as we navigate life.

We promise to always be strong and always be the “perfect” support. Life doesn’t go that way. Love rarely knows what to do in the times that we don’t seem to walk the path hand in hand.

Slowly with time, I’ve learned to not fret when we aren’t in sync. To have patience and always tell you how I feel. I’ve learned that being on a pedestal is so very lonely. When you step up to hold my hand it’s the best feeling in the world. We always find our pace again. I grab your hand and we are us. You are my best friend and I love you so very much ❤

Lil’ Place

My day was spent making plans, solving problems, dreaming of future what if’s with so many unforseens. I felt frazzled, my mind in a place of disarray. Not knowing how to organize my thoughts or what I needed to focus on first. I wanted my heart and head back in rhythm.

As the day wore on my agitation and anxiety consumed me….one thought kept repeating, “I just need to feel nature.” Close my eyes and let it win. It never lets me down or fails at calming me.

Finally I’m home. Only a short two minute walk. It’s the single, most pressing thought at this point. I imagine feeling its magic cure for all that clouds my mind.

I remove my shoes, my soles reach the soul of the earth. Instant bliss. Touching the water, even for a single minute, takes every stress away and sends it down river.

I know this river so well. I know its bends, I know its flow, and how it rises in the rain. I know the way it feels in every season and the beauty I always beg it to let me capture.

I took a deep breath as I watch the sky change color with its reflection. This is what it feels like to breath in color. A mood. A vibe. A shift begins to envelope me. The clouds and sun beautifully moving as the day just fades away…I wish I could create art as beautiful as this. I absolutely know I will never come close.

Life makes sense here in this little place that feels like mine but, is most definitely not. Free for all to enjoy but, my special place none the less. There is no limit on the amount of peace and clarity it can bring anyone quiet enough to listen. It gives rhythm back to my head and my heart follows. Thank you, “lil’ place”.

Confetti

Moments fall around me like confetti,
creating memories that make up my life.

A simple word,
with a single thought,
Falling as I grasp it.
my wild mind wakens.

Lonely blank papers
beg to be filled.
The idea a spark
Does it come from love?
Or because of lose…

Sensitivity is strength
In creating beauty and art.
a moment is captured that
carries my heart.

Memories challenged.
Daring to discover deeper meaning and desire.
It must be my destiny.
Do others feel this way? …I always wonder.

g.s

Celebrating Individuality

Both of my children have very big personalities! As they grow and establish their own uniqueness, I feel that it is very important to nurture that. They have ownership of their own body, soul, and mind. I find letting them choose how they want to express that builds character.

We must guide them but, not decide who they should be. I want my kids to feel confident and proud of who they are! I want them to love what makes them different from others but also bond over similarities. I celebrate them everyday by supporting and believing in them.

This photoshoot is about just that! Celebrating these beautiful little creatures that I love watching grow!

Abby Rain

She has grown so much in the past year! I can see her think about things more deeply than before. I notice little things here and there where her mind is opening to greater thoughts and creativity. I love her excitement to share what she loves with the world!

She is fierce when it comes to her baby brother. “Ain’t nobody gonna mess with bubba, momma. Nobody!” As she looks at me with fire in her beautiful blue eyes. She is my little super star and very much uniquely Abby.

Asher Dean

My little heartbreaker. This boy and his eyes make me just swoon! He has the kindest heart of any person I’ve ever known. With his infectious laugh and bright personality he naturally draws people into his happy little bubble.

As he gets ready for kindergarten, in a little more than a month, I find myself wondering where my baby went. He is so full of ideas and excitement about what school is going to be like! I am super excited to see him blossom but, also feel that twing of heartbreak that my kids are no longer babies.

My fears mostly come from a selfish place. Not wanting them to get older and start needing me less and less. But, I begin to realize isn’t that what we want? We want them to grow and be strong on their own! This thought immediately puts the more selfish one to rest and my excitement builds in knowing I get to be part of their beautiful lives and help guide them through it!

I believe as parents our role is to never force identites on to our children. It grows resentment and bottles up who they really are. One day all that built up pressure will explode. Some parents feel because they have similar DNA, that they own their children. Every move their child makes is decided on and they have no say in the matter. No human being should feel that way especially our own children. Let them think for themselves. Let them believe they are amazing the way they are. Let them decide!

When I say this I do not mean let your kids do whatever they want, obviously. -just don’t take away who they are. It’s important to teach them perseverance, strength in character, dedication, and compassion but, not force anything on them that isn’t in their nature.

No one is perfect. Not our children and definitely not us. We must celebrate our differences and teach our kids to be proud of who they truly are!

🍓Strawberry Fields🍓

In strawberry fields with velvet skies
Tell me your secrets and I will never lie.

Rose colored glasses,
Your smile and the warmth of sunshine.

I dream of you. I dream of bliss.
Holding your hand we laugh. So damn devine,
Nothing is real if our love does not exist.

-c.k.

Boy, Have I Got A Story For You

You don’t live in the south and not have a story or two to tell. Being a southern woman you have to hold your own. I’ve been part of some wild times with more to come – no doubt.

From the night with a southern Aryan Brotherhood and being initiated into a biker gang…..take into account I’ve never had a motorcycle or wanted to be part of said gang…but you kinda don’t say no. To nights fishing in the gator infested swampsland of Texas and camping in that Airstream for like 2 weeks. Been completely knocked over by the waves of the Gulf of Mexico.

-Had bonfires bigger than a two story house and drank illegal moonshine
….got waaaaay drunker than I can recall. There’s that time in New Orleans at the French Quarter tattoo shop to street raced with a group of mexicans. I’ve explored abandoned theme parks and insane asylums. I’ve been spelunking and lost on the river….a few times. 😉

I was broke down in the middle of nowhere Oklahoma for half a day…and that was before cellphones! I’ve been caught up in quite a few tornadoes…which is still one of my biggest fear to this day!

I’ve carried a gun for safety, needless to say I’ve put a few people in their place.

Let me tell y’all somethin’, being a sassy woman is in the south is a must. I’ve grown to be strong willed and very much southern. I’ve got all the stories to go along with it! 😉

2 a.m. Thoughts

We all have secrets we hid. Sometimes we’re too afraid or ashamed to even admit to ourself. During college, the university I attended had a Post Secret like exhibit. All that passed were invited to contribute. I didn’t at the time, just observed and read.

I thought, what an inspiration -enlightening and beautiful. Some with art, most without. Even as a visual artist, I’ve always felt the words in post secret are the art. The truth is the inspiration found within people bearing their souls. How freeing it is to write down words you’d never speak from your mouth on paper for other’s to read. It makes you feel less alone. I have always loved reading post secrets and found such bravery in the ones who share. I recently shared -not one but, four secrets.

I guess life has caught up to me and I needed to feel free. Anxiety and panic attacks have recently got the best of me. I may hid it well enough most of the time but, I have inner struggles that are very hard to get through. Lately, it’s been much worse than I’d like to admit. Combined with my insomnia it’s too much.

After visiting a doctor and lining some things out, discussing options for how best to get through this hard period in my life -I discovered how much of my time was spent thinking about the past and its effects on me. Releasing some secrets into the universe and not keeping them to myself lightens my heart. It helps me on the path of healing.

Maybe more people should give it a try, what secret would you write to free yourself?