Studio Drawings / W.I.P

This week starts with the intent to have a good idea on what whiskey bottles I want to draw, as well as, work on some unfinished pieces that have been collecting dust in the studio.

I started with a portrait drawing of Josh. With it I wanted to explore a little bit more of an abstract portrait with high contrast. The black paper and white chalk was the perfect combination to do a portrait of him with smoke wafting around his profile. I loved the way it played into the curls of his beard as well. I’m happy with how it turned out.

Next, unfinished project is a portrait of Sam Walton. Feeling my strong sense of community and culture with this one. There is a deadline for a mural project Walmart has opened to the public on January 11th. Thanks to all my peeps who have been tagging me for this project! Crossing my fingers I’ll get choosen! I thought this would be the perfect time to finish and submit it for a chance to have my art, blown up mural sized, in a store! It is a charcoal/pencil drawing on paper. I have pulled it out a few times to work on it over the last year but, have yet to fully complete it. I’m working out the details and doing final touches.

This will be my main focus until the weekend when I’ve scheduled to do the photoshoot of the whiskey collection. I plan on taking loads of photos and choose the best 10 to draw from. The drawings will all be the same dimensions and I will be challenging myself to finish one drawing per week. If I stay on track it will take me two and a half months to complete the 10 Whiskies! I’m thinking I might be doing time lapse videos of each drawing as well! I’ve always wanted to do a video start to finish.

My Truest Friend

“Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead.
Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow.
Walk beside me; and be my friend.” -Albert Camus

We haven’t always been this way. We have seen both sides of the path we promised to walk together. Many times I’ve searched for your hand knowing you needed mine more. Struggling to understand how to be there for you when I barely managed to be there for myself.

I’ve realized that in this journey we have vowed to take together there are three parts. The us part, the me part, and the you part. We are not always on the us part. We have our own journeys to take as we navigate life.

We promise to always be strong and always be the “perfect” support. Life doesn’t go that way. Love rarely knows what to do in the times that we don’t seem to walk the path hand in hand.

Slowly with time, I’ve learned to not fret when we aren’t in sync. To have patience and always tell you how I feel. I’ve learned that being on a pedestal is so very lonely. When you step up to hold my hand it’s the best feeling in the world. We always find our pace again. I grab your hand and we are us. You are my best friend and I love you so very much ❤

Beautiful Mess

Our house is always changing. I never keep something in one place for too awfully long. I would love to say I have it in order…like ever but, I do not. Art is always leaning against the walls. I collect weird things and live in a old house. I have an obsession with mirrors and for things that glow softly.

But…..right in the middle of my crazy mess is my husband. Loving me for my need for change, my haphazard way of acting like I have my shit together and the never ending crazy that is me. He is my constant, calls me his beautiful mess and finds my artistic brain endearing. We grow together and learn more about each other everyday.

Our journey is definitely not perfect but, I find these moments and am proud of this beautiful life we have created. 💛

If You’re Gonna Post A “Selfie”

This isn’t my favorite painting. Not even my second ;)…..it’s a self portrait from 2012. Created in place of a night I couldn’t sleep. Not unusual but, that night was especially rough. I decided to focus my energy. I had a mirror that was eye level and thought it would be challenging to do a self portrait as a live oil painting. Adding a whole other level of difficulty I painted it on a piece of glass. I spent 6 hours painting as I looked in the mirror. This is much MUCH more difficult than I thought it would be!!

First off, oil painting is a skill that is only honed by practice….LOTS of practice. Second, looking at myself for six hours from night to morning is a whole other depth I wasn’t prepared for and I’m yet to do it since.

You force yourself to look inward. Do you like what you see? Can you focus and portray that to others? Are you beautiful? Do you love yourself?…Do you see your weaknesses?….as an artist and as a person????…..All questions I asked myself when painting this…along with a massive train of other thoughts.

I don’t “like” this painting but I do love it. I love what it means to me. I LOVE that I don’t have a photo to reference. I love that it was in the moment.

I really love that I can look at this painting and know I did my best at that point in time.

I’ve had other artist tell me they hate it. “The detail in the hair just isn’t there”…”your eyes make me uncomfortable.” “Why does your forehead look that way?”….blah..blah..bluhbadi, blah..

To be honest, I don’t care if anyone likes it. I have learned to judge my art on my own level. If I feel it has value I don’t care if others see it. Or even like it.

It means something to me. That’s all that matters.

Convos Between Siblings

They chat through their own bedroom windows about the cars passing by and what they are reminded of. Bruce and Teddy Love have a side convo about bear things and all I can think about is how beautiful this moments is. Standing in the hallway silently watching my two favorite people live out their childhood…..just smiling about how happy I am to be part of it. ❤

Seeing the bond between these two, I find myself incredibly happy to be their mother. Happy I can provide them with things I never had as a kid. Happy moments and beautiful memories. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

These Moments

This is a watercolor painting of my daughter in a moment we shared one week into parenthood. The illumination is a perfect representation of the new parent high I was running on. And, of course includes that baby smell. 😉 I swear it’s like catnip for women!

How could I not be inspired by her beauty? As I slowly layered the colors I could feel incredible warmth coming from it. I knew I had accomplished exactly what I intended.

In these moments of creative clarity adrenaline fuels me. When I look at this painting I can imagine that memory perfectly. I feel her in my arms and can remember how the golden sun made its way across us.

That moment is perfection. Creating artwork that draws me in and keeps me intrigued is what makes it important for me. I love these moments. They are priceless.

My Inspiration

For all the things my arms have ever held, the best by far is you.

Everyday I grow closer to the momma y’all deserve. Some days I stumble. Hell, some days I crash and burn. On those days especially, I am most grateful to have your beautiful hearts close. Grateful I can hug you and kiss you and snuggle you. Grateful you accept my apology when I know I’ve lost my temper. I aspire to be as giving and loving as you are.

You lift me up with the simplest little grin. Your big ole’ baby blues melt my heart every time. You are the inspiration for all the beauty I share with the world. I find the most joy in these ordinary moments that make up an extraordinary life. How did I ever get so lucky? 💛

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