Self Love

Once again a restless night. Haunted by the dread of disappointment, anger, and hopelessness. When will I stop hoping for a different outcome? When will I look into your eyes and not see sorrow? Will I ever have you back?

I fear for you in the realist way my heart can feel. I know you’re scared and lost. I know you don’t want to be like this. Yet, I hold your hand begging and pleading and all I see is emptiness in your eyes. Complete abandon. I’m scared for me too. Terrified I’ll end up the same. It’s in my blood. Coursing through my veins just waiting until I’m weak enough to let the demon take control.

I don’t want to be this. I don’t want to watch this. I don’t want to lose anymore. Haven’t we all lost enough? I can’t save you. Hope is always my greatest heartbreak. I remember the way you were and physically hurt from the pain of losing that version of you. The only love great enough to save someone is self love.

So what do ya say, wanna change the world today?!

Perspective is nothing if not life changing, a fundamental shift in the train of thought that you base your values on. As I get older I am embracing new perspective more and more. I crave it. I want my mind changed. I want to grow. I want to understand more and see the world through eyes that are not mine.

I feel that there is a rising up of new thinking that creates more inclusivity within society. People are not afraid to stand up. The time is always ‘now’ for the forward thinkers. The people that say, “If I’m not the voice then there is no voice. If I don’t make change for the future thinkers of the world then we will never change.”

I want to be part of change. I want to say I made a difference to a better world. A world where more people are letting other perspectives influence their thoughts and actions. Having the openness to not being right all the time. Believing that there is always a way of doing something that has never been thought of.

Supporting those that are brave, especially if what they represent is a perspective that eyes have never seen, is all about opening your heart to others. Vulnerability is always seen as a bad thing. A thing that makes someone weak but, vulnerability is what changes the world. It’s that one person standing up to say “I think, feel, or want things to be different and here’s why. Let’s find ways together to make it so.”

These brave people and those who support them are my heroes. It simply starts with listening. Truly listen to what others have to say. So what do ya say, wanna change the world today?!

These Moments

This is a watercolor painting of my daughter in a moment we shared one week into parenthood. The illumination is a perfect representation of the new parent high I was running on. And, of course includes that baby smell. 😉 I swear it’s like catnip for women!

How could I not be inspired by her beauty? As I slowly layered the colors I could feel incredible warmth coming from it. I knew I had accomplished exactly what I intended.

In these moments of creative clarity adrenaline fuels me. When I look at this painting I can imagine that memory perfectly. I feel her in my arms and can remember how the golden sun made its way across us.

That moment is perfection. Creating artwork that draws me in and keeps me intrigued is what makes it important for me. I love these moments. They are priceless.