2 a.m. Thoughts

We all have secrets we hid. Sometimes we’re too afraid or ashamed to even admit to ourself. During college, the university I attended had a Post Secret like exhibit. All that passed were invited to contribute. I didn’t at the time, just observed and read.

I thought, what an inspiration -enlightening and beautiful. Some with art, most without. Even as a visual artist, I’ve always felt the words in post secret are the art. The truth is the inspiration found within people bearing their souls. How freeing it is to write down words you’d never speak from your mouth on paper for other’s to read. It makes you feel less alone. I have always loved reading post secrets and found such bravery in the ones who share. I recently shared -not one but, four secrets.

I guess life has caught up to me and I needed to feel free. Anxiety and panic attacks have recently got the best of me. I may hid it well enough most of the time but, I have inner struggles that are very hard to get through. Lately, it’s been much worse than I’d like to admit. Combined with my insomnia it’s too much.

After visiting a doctor and lining some things out, discussing options for how best to get through this hard period in my life -I discovered how much of my time was spent thinking about the past and its effects on me. Releasing some secrets into the universe and not keeping them to myself lightens my heart. It helps me on the path of healing.

Maybe more people should give it a try, what secret would you write to free yourself?

3 am thoughts

Such a strange time of day. Not night anymore but still not quite morning. Insomnia takes hold at times. Nothing helps. Nothing pulls its tight grip from my ever-thinking brain. Do life thoughts become more meaningful at 3am? Do artist become more artistic or creatives create more? Are we more prone to not sleeping? Or thinking more deeply?

So much randomness makes a home here. Body so still and wishing for sleep but, a head racing a thousand miles a minute. A conversation of cognitive dissonance between body and mind. A blessing and a curse this over active soul of mine.